It's not my back yard anymore

It’s like living in the dark ages when you can’t use your toilet. You can’t use the kitchen sink, your washing machine and your shower. If there is no place for it to go – then you …. j u s t... d o n ‘ t.... g o. Unless you have nice neighbors. We do.

So, there we were with a tree savagely torn down all over the yard and a septic tank percolating like that old coffee commercial. Unfortunately not smelling like fresh brew. The plumber said, “Call the septic pump man.” The septic pump man said, “Call the rotor rooter guy.” The rotor rooter guy said, “Call the drain field guy.” The drain field guy said, “Call me in about 3 weeks.” I guess that’s a little pun; the drain field guy was backed up.

We were fortunate that the pump guy drained the septic tank and gave us a 500 gallon reprieve. We still pottied a lot at our respective jobs and showered the rinse, soap, and rinse method. (I think all the Hollywood celebrities are doing this now to save the environment. They turn off the water while they brush their teeth, too.)

The weekends preceding the “date” my better half tore down the fence and cut up the sod while I dug and potted my favorite perennials in a somewhat successful rescue effort. Another friend, Steve, dropped by to help roll and remove sod, which really expedited the process. He was jealous that he hadn’t gotten to play lumberjack. Sod bustin’ just doesn’t have the same appeal.

Scoop the Digger rolled in one morning sinking 6-inch deep tracks from the front yard, through the side and into the back. He pulled the stump out ….. in pieces. He proceeded to excavate a replacement trench that must have sucked every rock from the old drain field into a pile of dirt that he would later spread back over the lawn like chunky peanut butter. Several full dump trucks brought in more rocks for the new drain field. It was a competition to see who could sink the deepest ruts. Then there was all the gravel that missed the trench or scattered behind as they exited.
"Back Hoes, dump trucks, rocks and trenches, oh my." ToTo, this just isn’t my back yard anymore.


Karmyn R said…
Sorry it was such a shitty job...
Anonymous said…
wizard of oz reference... emerald shitty.


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