THE DUST WILL WAIT

 This morning I was awake early.  Too early.   I walked into the office where I pushed the wake up button on the computer and waited.  Then, when it came to life I clicked on my family tree program.   I pulled up my brother's name and wrote in the date of death as November 25, 2021.   He is gone.   My brother was a warrior through his six plus year fight with terminal cancer.  Stage four when diagnosed.  Given a much shorter life expectancy than he achieved.  There were times when we thought the time was near. Then he would rally and a new chemo treatment would be available to inflate our hopes for a different outcome. In all there were seven different protocols that he engaged.  There were several that reduced the lesions and granted him some near normal activity.  He went on a tour to Ireland early in his treatment plan.  Then to Russia.  Although the later one came with more difficulty.  St...

Cemeteries were visited and flowers were placed on head stones this weekend.  One of the ones visited is very tiny and sits on a small rise surrounded by miles of agricultural land with fields of wheat, canola, and alfalfa. That is where my husband's late sister rests. The scent of alfalfa blooms waft in the breeze over the dusty markers inside a chain-link fence.  It isn't your normal manicured grave site.  It's just dirt. She began showing signs of something being not right soon after she turned 50.  We noticed that she couldn't remember the rules of our Saturday night card games.  Her symptoms progressed causing her to loose her job working for an accountant.  She tried working at lesser jobs, but she couldn't keep up with any of them.   She would ride her bike to the store and forget why she was there.  She might wake up in the morning and find all of her kitchen towels and oven mitts on her patio.  A difficult thing for us to...

On May 1, 2018 a 37-year old man dropped his two children off at school; the daughter in 8th grade and the son in kindergarten.  He drove towards home and waved at his 36 year old wife as she headed out for her job.   He made several more stops. He purchased some food items and some other specific things from the local super center. From there he drove to a park several miles away on the edge of wilderness area and proceeded to walk down to the river and perhaps back to his car.  Picking up his cell phone he sent several suicide texts to his wife.  She didn't see them until she got out of a hearing she was transcribing as the court reporter.  By that time, he had most likely followed the railroad tracks and turned south towards the  foothills of the Cascades where the trees began to shelter and hide other flora and fauna that thrive in the mountain greenery. That was the beginning of the 76 daze that our family struggled through in agony.  We ...

We've been driving the road out of the valley over 45 years.  The dusk and dawn trips have always  provided sightings of white-tailed deer, (and even once we saw a moose!) Two weeks ago was the first time that we've had a very unfortunate sighting...and encounter. It was getting dark that Sunday night as we turned east, away from the Columbia River, and towards the valley we call home.  The hubby was driving and I was chatting about nothing in particular.  There had been little traffic, so I noticed when a dark sedan came up quickly behind us on the two-lane road.  We were going 60 mph, the posted limit. He quickly passed us and disappeared around one of the many wide corners on this route. "That guy must not know about the deer crossing at dusk," was my observation after he zoomed away.  "He would never be able to stop if one runs in front of him." My hubby confirmed his agreement. We rode on for several miles in silence until we began the climb up...

There hasn't been a dog in residence for over 10 years now.  In dog years, that is a life time. Many times I get that little pinge in my heart when I'm out walking and stop to pet another walker's furry friend.  Most of my neighbors have dogs that are the recipients of the doggy treats we keep in the garage for just that occasion.  Oh yes!  Lots of scratches behind their ears and baby talk. It is easy to get a "fix" of doggy love at my middle daughter's house.  They got a puppy last summer  - some kind of a fox terrier, Jack Russel, and Pomeranian mix.  "Mugsy" has ears that stick up and make him appear much taller.  He is a blur when he runs, and he can jump up and peak over things that gives one the impression that he is on a trampoline.   For some reason he has decided I am  his long lost mother.  I have to meet him by the door because he gets so excited that he goes potty.  Then he bounces and yips  and won't stop...

My fingers are freezing as I type this. I just ran outside and removed as many leaves as I could from the tiny man-made creek that runs into the pond. A few days ago WR stated that he hoped the wind would blow all the leaves off the neighbor’s maple trees - and he got his wish. He even got a better gift with it. Many of those leaves blew over our fence and beyond. However, we still get to keep the ones that hit the water. Every autumn we are surprised. I remember several years ago having our grandkids help us rake leaves when they visited over the Thanksgiving holiday. I remember having a few brave roses thumbing their petals even into December. We always know that eventually winter will arrive, but never how or when we expect it. So is it we are surprised with the insidious creeping of Alzheimer’s in my sister-in-law’s life. This morning I need to wolf down my coffee and cereal and rush out the door. I am supervising the movers who come to haul her furniture and belongings to a...

Kaleb (almost 5) with his playmates in Chad My heart will not rest until I give this moment to my forever friend, Jan, and the grief that has been poured upon her family. Her grandson, little Kaleb, died on June 9 - complications of Malaria. His daddy & mommy laid him to rest in Chad, where they have been working without a salary (donation based mission) to improve the lives of the people they love. For friends of the family who wish to help the young couple out right now: Two funds have been set up this week. The following info is from an Email I got from Jan this morning. One fund is to help Gary, Wendy & their 3 year old Cherise fly to the states to grieve with family and friends. The 2nd fund is for their mission in Chad. Gospel Ministries International www.gospelministry.org Checks can be mailed to: Gospel Ministries International PO Box 506 Collegedale, TN 37315 Just say (*write on the check) that it is "In memory of Kaleb Roberts". This will pu...

A courageous battle ended yesterday. My Sister-in-Law took a final breath and her pain stopped. Breast Cancer . The words are bitter on my lips - and these tears will not dilute the taste. We had many intimate talks over the past 1 1/2 years. Brenda was always full of hope, always positive. She was full of Grace. She was also honest about the mistake she'd made when she dismissed the initial signs. She made me promise that I would take an aggressive mode if I ever noticed a pucker or suspected even the hint of a lump. In this moment, when I haven't really registered the fact that she is gone, I keep thinking "if only..." (Please take this moment to do a self-exam and to schedule your annual exam. Do it for me and in her memory.)

I began reading Amy 's blog many months ago. Each entry chronicled her battle with leukemia. She lost the war on Monday. I feel compelled to honor and recognize her well-lived life. She leaves behind her husband, a small child she longed to watch grow tall, siblings, and parents. And, thousands of bloggers who were inspired by her constant and positive faith. Goodbye Sweet Amy - Sleep peacefully.

When Peter (aka Willowtree) , todays Fun Monday host, asked " "Tell us about your best friend. Particularly things like: where you first met, how long you've been friends and why you think you are best friends," I began writing about my life long friend. Unfortunately, events that were expected, but not with such haste, prompted me to do an immediate rewrite. Our Aunt Pat died yesterday. This post is dedicated to her and her Best Friend, Anne. Thanks in advance for reading. No comments necessary. (Please do visit Peter and the other participants.) *************** Photo taken of Pat and Anne this spring. Aunt Pat was a strong and intelligent woman. She was a feminist long before the word was in the dictionary. She never married. I know she had offers. She was brilliant and somewhat intimidating. (She helped develop a small portable kidney dialysis machine in the early sixties.) When she was in her early 50’s, she met Anne on an overseas g...

Today was my annual mammogram. I am thankful for the friendly technician, her efficiency and skills. This visit was very significant for me BECAUSE my sister-in-law, Bindy, underwent a mastectomy two weeks ago. The lymph node status was discouraging, resulting in yesterday’s full body CAT scan (Computed Axial Tomography.) Bindy has been through five crazy years. It started on June 14, 2002 when she woke up with a tortuous headache, which quickly proceeded to a grand mall seizure and unconsciousness. My brother, who is a respiratory therapist, was home and able to do CPR with competence until the ambulance arrived. The paramedics intubated and transported her to the closest Emergency Room where they quickly diagnosed a brain aneurysm. The mortality rate is high and one out of three survivors sustains permanent disabling neurological symptoms. An airlift to Harb*rview H*spital in Seattle and the skilled hands of one of the four top Neurosurgeons i...

In remembrance of a man buried in the belly of a battleship. His name was Victor Lawrence Jeans. Gram and Auntie Fern called him Cousin Lawrence. He joined the US Navy and was on the USS ARIZONA that 7th day of December, 1941.

Several Dahlia's have been hanging on. An earlier post mentioned that we had lost the marjority of them to some fungus. Today, on my hubbys birthday, one of them has decided to show it's face. It is a sign of hope and determination. All three of our amazing daughters have taken their turn this year facing and enduring a painful trial. They have grown, reached for the sun, and bloomed. Courage and beauty has been their fruit. I love them and every fiber of my being hurts when they hurt. Our Jen will face this loss and draw on her faith in God, the Healer. Ecclesiastes 3:1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.

Today we are in a state of disbelief and tearful mourning; the premature death and birth of our grandson. There was a room prepared for him in our hearts; we already knew him in anticipation. I would have called him 'my little guy Kai.' We now turn our prayers to our daughter, Jen, as there are complications. Malachai is a Hebrew word that translates as "my angel."

In Sweet Memory of Richie, lost to cancer at age 29 one year ago. Love, Aunti Pam

I’ve been reluctant to talk about death because it makes me so angry. My brother in law B.R. died on May 18. My sister, and her three adult children knew his death was imminent, yet knowing doesn’t ease the horrible pain. BR’s battle against pancreatic cancer was fought on two fronts, his and my sis. Together they took the three-month prognosis and stretched it into sixteen. That last day, my sis, in her strength and dignity, lay on the hospice bed beside her love and companion of 44 years. She whispered memories of the life they shared, promised him that she would see him in a better place, and gave him permission to seek the peace that was beckoning him. There in her arms he died. B.R. had a big dog named Kodiak. There is an odd thing about dogs, especially a companion of many years. They seem to take on their owner’s dispositions, quirks, and even their health issues. Yes, Kodiak had cancer. He’d been fighting it for about the same amount of time as B.R. My sis had spent the last 18...