THE DUST WILL WAIT

 Vice President Joe Biden called the wrong Martin Walsh. "You son of a gun, Marty!"  (Huffington Post) The VP not only called a number and congratulated a stranger for winning an election, but then he called a second wrong number and did it again! The Veep keeps us in good humor with all his little mix ups, which leads us to another fellow who mixed up music with weapons.... Man Attacks Cab in San Diego with a Didgeridoo. 'A Southern California man has been arrested after police say he whacked a taxi with a didgeridoo in an argument over the fare.'   (NBC News) While we are on the subject of down under.... Pet Kangaroo Gets Loose in Texas. 'Midland County Sheriff says deputies thought dispatchers were crazy. " (ABC News) Wild turkey in my yard make me 'hoppy', but then I get excited easily. And speaking of things that make me excited NOT.... Reports of Domestic Incident turns out to be Couple Building IKEA Furniture. ...

Fleeing Suspect Picks The Wrong Place To Hide AP PHOENIX -A suspect who ran away from a traffic stop on Wednesday chose the wrong place to hide when he slipped under a parked moving truck — and then was run over when the driver pulled away. Forget about the suspect, I didn't get past the parked moving truck. (Sometimes I enjoy the language so much.) Former French President hospitalized after Mauling By His Clinically Depressed Poodle Former French president Jacques Chirac was rushed to hospital after being mauled by his own 'clinically depressed' pet dog. The 76-year-old statesman was savaged by his white Maltese dog - which suffers from frenzied fits and is being treated with anti-depressants. Pit Poodles and Maultese . You just aren't safe anymore. Naked Burglar Gets Stuck In Chimney Fox News - Firefighters discovered Daniel Davies, 20, after a delivery driver heard him yelling “help me” from the chimney stack of a convenience store near Manc...

Click here to follow link to AP article AP Associated Press MOSCOW - A monument to the enema, a procedure many people would rather not think about, has been unveiled at a spa in the southern Russian city of Zheleznovodsk . Some of us just don't realize what a moving experience art can provide.

There must be a full moon. I don't remember when I've seen so many weird headlines. 81-Year-Old Aussie Nabbed Selling Weed (AP) SYDNEY, Australia - An 81-year-old woman was arrested and charged with growing and selling marijuana in eastern Australia, police said Tuesda y. Is anyone else a little doobie-us about a sweet little old lady doing something like that? Town Seeks Ban On Silly String HUNTINGTON, N.Y. -- Town council in Huntington, New York is getting serious about Silly String. The issue: a claim that the plastic goo mars the finish on the Long Island community's fire trucks. These firemen need a pool table. These guys have got to be hustlers... PRAGUE (Reuters) - Two Czechs stuck in a billiard table while searching for a ball had to call the fire squad and were freed only when rescuers took the table apart, a newspaper reported Tuesday. Then again - maybe not (see previous comment.) Oregon Town Abuzz over Mayor's MySpace Lingerie Sho t (AP) ARLINGTON, Ore...

Burning Chili Sparks Terror Alert A pot of burning chili sparked fears of a biological terror attack in central London . Firefighters wearing protective breathing apparatus were called to D’Arblay Street , Soho , after reports of noxious smoke filling the air. A Thai restaurant had been preparing Nam Prik Pao, a red hot Thai dip which uses extra hot chillies which are deliberately bur nt. That usually happens after we eat it at our house. Philippine Officials Find ‘Spider’ Mail Manila , Philippines – The package from Hong Kong looked innocent enough, marked “personal clothing.” But, when customs officials opened it, they were stunned to see about 300 live scorpions and spiders. I wonder if there was a card that read: Dear Harry, Here's a few items left behind when you walked out on me for that other woman. W. VA Man Flees Police on Lawnmower Martinsburg,. W.VA. – Michael Ginevan of Bunker Hill was driving a riding lawnmower on on Runnymeade Road ab...

CZECH SPEEDWAY RIDER KNOCKED OUT IN CRASH WAKES UP SPEAKING PERFECT ENGLISH. When Matej Kus's teammates heard him talking after he was knocked out in a speedway accident, they were relieved he was conscious. But they were also a little surprised. For although the 18-year- old Czech knew only the most basic English phrases, he was conversing fluently in the language with paramedics. BRAIN SURGERY LEAVES YORKSHIRE BOY SPEAKING LIKE THE QUEEN! With her nine-year-old son William lying desperately ill in hospital following emergency brain surgery, Ruth McCartney-Moore prayed that she would one day hear his voice again. But when he did speak weeks later, she was in for a shock. He had lost his strong Yorkshire accent and was now speaking the Queen's English. P AMELA FELL OUT OF BED AND WOKE UP TALKING LIKE A PIRATE She just opened her eyes and said: 'Tis a fine day to be walkin' and talkin' like the pirate I am. Now, all ye cockswains, grab ye black...

Tooth Embedded In Rugby Player's Head Brisbane, Australia - Ruby player Ben Czislowski kept competing for more than three months despite the headaches that started after a clash with an opponent. Last week, his doctor found a tooth embedded in Czislowski's head ***I suppose finding any teeth left in a rugby players head would be a surprise. Worms Fall From The Sky In Jennings Jennings Police Department employee, Eleanor Beal was just crossing the street to go to work when something dropped from the sky. "When I saw that they were crawling, I said, 'It's worms! Get out of the way!'" ***There you have it. Global Worming. Outhouses Yields Mysterious Artifacts VENTURA, Calif. A spot where a pair of outhouses stood 130 years ago is proving to be a treasure trove for archaeologists who braved the lingering smell in the dirt to uncover some 19th century artifacts - and a mystery. ****Pull up your stool and join the pa-a-a-a-a-awty. Manmade hunk of Metal...

HOTTIES: Pa. women in their 70's and 80's posed semi-nude for calendar... (AP) GREENSBORO, Pa. Giving sultry looks and sexy smiles to the camera, 12 Pittsburgh-area women recently posed at Monongahela historical sites, baring it all -- or almost all -- to create a charity-driven calendar. I stand in awe! Fully clothed, of course. Researcher Find 2,100 year old melon. The remains are believed to be the oldest of a melon that still has flesh on the rind, Yamazaki said. I meant to check to see if this was in Greensboro, PA. Man Blames Beverage for Unwanted Erection (AP) A man has sued the maker of the health drink Boost Plus, claiming the vitamin-enriched beverage gave him an erection that would not subside and caused him to be hospitalized. The truth is that he had recently purchased a calendar in Greensboro, PA. . Okay... enough already about women and body parts. Iowa woman named Butts Charged with Theft of Courts Toilet Paper Butts, 38, was caught last week after an emp...

Massive Ice Sheet Partial Cause of Missing Canadian Gravity A mysterious dip in gravity over Northern Canada has long been a weighty topic for some scientists. Two theories have emerged to explain the strange phenomenon, but conclusive evidence has been elusive. I'm moving and taking my bathroom scales. Most-Wanted Part of $2M Estate: the Dog A man who didn't have a will left a $2 million estate, but the most hotly contested item in court has been his golden retriever, Alex. Royal, the dog's attorney, said he believes all four people (the man's Father, ex wife, ex girl friend, and fiancee) love Alex and would take good care of him, but they were using the fight for the dog to punish each other for past transgressions . The Dog's attorney? Am I the only one who thinks that's Goofy? Wis. farmer finds new calf has two noses Mark Krombholz had to look twice at his new calf, Lucy (born May 4 ) _ one time for each nose. "I didn't notice anythi...