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Thursday, January 10, 2008

Todays Headlines

There must be a full moon. I don't remember when I've seen so many weird headlines.


81-Year-Old Aussie Nabbed Selling Weed

(AP) SYDNEY, Australia - An 81-year-old woman was arrested and charged with growing and selling marijuana in eastern Australia, police said Tuesday.

Is anyone else a little doobie-us about a sweet little old lady doing something like that?


Town Seeks Ban On Silly String

Town council in Huntington, New York is getting serious about Silly String. The issue: a claim that the plastic goo mars the finish on the Long Island community's fire trucks.

These firemen need a pool table.



These guys have got to be hustlers...

PRAGUE (Reuters) - Two Czechs stuck in a billiard table while searching for a ball had to call the fire squad and were freed only when rescuers took the table apart, a newspaper reported Tuesday.

Then again - maybe not (see previous comment.)




Oregon Town Abuzz over Mayor's MySpace Lingerie Shot

(AP) ARLINGTON, Ore. — Some residents of this small town wish their mayor felt like she had something to hide.

Mayor Carmen Kontur-Gronquist created a stir with her MySpace page, where at one time anyone could see photos of her on one of the town's fire engines, clad only in a black bra and panties.

But, was she marring the finish? (refer to silly string)



Man accused of stealing hunting knives hidden in waistband trips, stabs sel
f

(AP) GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. - A man who hid hunting knives in his pants to try to steal them from a western Michigan store tripped while fleeing and stabbed himself in the abdomen, police say.

No matter how you slice it, this guy ain't too sharp.

Man spots his wife during visit to brothel

WARSAW, Poland - A Polish man got the shock of his life when he visited a brothel and spotted his wife among the establishment's employees. ‘I was dumbfounded. I thought I was dreaming,’ he tells Polish newspaper.

Men. I bet she'd warned him not to bother her at work.


Men wheel out corpse in bid to cash check


NEW YORK (Reuters) - Two New York men wheeled the corpse of their friend around the sidewalks of midtown Manhattan in an office chair in a failed attempt to cash his $355 Social Security check, police said.

Then the exit pollsters asked him who he'd voted for.

55 comments:

lisa's chaos said...

All of those were from today? How weird! I liked the silly string. :)

kailani said...

ROFL! I don't get the last one. Why would they do that? For ID purposes, I guess?

Aoj & The Lurchers said...

ROFLOL!! Very good!

Robin said...

The headlines are unbelievable...your commentary? Punnily satisfying :).

And, when I read the first one, I thought that might've explained Willowtree's temporary departure from the b-sphere ;).

Beccy said...

What funny headlines and I love robin's WT comment.

Kaycie said...

I heard the man and wife from Poland are now divorcing.

She works in a brothel. He doesn't know it. He is a customer at said brothel. I think maybe the marriage had a couple of issues before . . .

Heather said...

Well that was worth a good chuckle! You had me at doobie-us!

Jenni said...

Some women will do anything to get their husbands' attention. I'm thinking he wasn't worth it.

How on earth do you get stuck in a pool table, though. What did the firemen look like? I might be tempted to get stuck in a pool table or ride a fire truck in only my lingerie for the right fireman;o) Whipped cream goes better than silly string with firemen, though.

Gee, I'm on a roll with long and bizarre comments on other people's blogs today. Must be I'm avoiding work and writing on my own blog.

swampy said...

The last one should be re-titled, "Weekend with Bernie."

coffeypot said...

I know we are in the mist of global warming and there are droughts in some parts of the world, but don't you think the firemen should still use water to fight fires. Silly string doesn't seem like it would be that effective.

Sandy said...

Great stories! The only thing I've read lately that is funnier is the media coverage of the elections in the good old US of A!

heather a. goodman said...

weee! love today's headlines posts!

re: the 81-yr-old woman--ever seen the movie Saving Grace? a woman in her 60s grows and sells weed to pay bills.

re: the mayor--how do you think she got elected?

re: the Czechs--how on earth??!

www.heatheragoodman.com
(for some reason, i can't figure out how to get my new link to show, even when i type in the url where blogger tells me to--any advice? now i know why non-blogger users don'g like blogger.)

heather a. goodman said...

okay. so it put the link in that time.
who knows.

Hayden said...

re: the 81 yr old woman: when I had my first blog at blogster (closed community) there was an 84 year old woman I became friends with - she had written a number of books and was great at telling a tale - and yes, had hilarious stories about pot, 2 of which I remember:

A: calling the police for something while forgetting she had a large pot plant in the kitchen, then frantically trying to redirect their attention away from it (they ignored it)

B: having same pot plant stolen and getting half way through dialing the police to report it before remembering she couldn't.

The only regret I have over leaving Blogster is that I can't access Ruth's blog any more.

Simply Jenn said...

Hilarious! Dead people tend to be kind of obvious. These people must have watched Weekend at Bernies a million years ago.

Junebug said...

Funny stories. I agree firemen should use water to put fires out.

Karina said...

These were fantastic, there are some characters out there, that's for sure. And Hayden's comment had me laughing out loud! That's classic!

By the way, I posted an update to my "teaser/secret" post, come on by if you're interested in the scoop!

~JJ! said...

Hey, I've seen those Huntington Fire Trucks up close...they are fine...

Those guys DO need a pool table.

Vicki said...

I wonder if brothel wife made husband pay?

Karmyn R said...

That last headline was on the local news this morning. and they remarked that it could be a remake of Weekend at Bernies.

Susie Q said...

I especially liked the Man Shoots Wife In Brothel Visit! How absurd!!
I needed the laugh and found it here! Thanks for that dear Pamela!

Hugs,
Sue

Robinella said...

Kamryn took the words right out of my mouth. Weekend at Bernie's.

So glad to be caught up on all that.

Claudia said...

oh Pamela...you're so punny!!

Mercy's Maid said...

tee hee hee--"doobie-us" :)

Kila said...

Pamela, I wish you were the anchor for the Evening News :)

That poor old lady. Selling drugs is probably the highest paying job she can get at her age! At least she was being self-sufficient!

On a local radio station today, folks were talking and laughing about the man and wife who saw each other at the brothel. Can you imagine? "What are you doing here?!" "What are YOU doing here?!"

theotherbear said...

What is hardest to admit is that I had read most of these articles already. So therefore I probably only read the 'other side' of news, not the serious stuff. Which is kind of true! :)

M@ said...

I'd vote for that mayor! Wrong Arlington, though. :(

Masago said...

These are brilliant. I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard!

ablondeblogger said...

ROFL! Yeah, that first headline threw me. And then when I read "doobie-us" I just died!!

Too funny about the brothel. They should make that into a movie with the Pina Colada song as the theme.

katy said...

wonderful headlines, the first one brings to mind a group of old aged pensioners over here who grew their own weed for medicinal purposes?!

DesLily said...

that NY thing was all over the television news... what is it Forrest Gump said? "Stupid is as Stupid does?".. 'nuff said

Desert Songbird said...

For some odd reason, I'm stuck on the prostitute story. Talk about a couple with issues! No wonder they're going to divorce.

BarnGoddess said...

Crazy people!

Mert said...

Doobie-us! LOL! The brothel thing has me mystified. I wonder who was more upset? the guy finding out his wife was a *cough* ho, or the wife for finding out her husband was a john?

Amanda said...

LOL I was going to post that exact story about the corpse. I was dying of laughter yesterday when I read it.

I love your blog set up btw. I will definately be a return reader.

The Artist formerly Known as Purpleworms (!) said...

Thanks for these - what a bright spot in my otherwise drab day of preparations for the beginning of classes Monday!

SwampAngel65 said...

Humans never cease to amaze me.
Reading some of these things makes me feel so much smarter!

Devon said...

Those were very funny! There is certainly some weird energy in the air!

susan said...

I like the idea of you being on the news...your commentary makes the headline!

Joy T. said...

Those are hilarious. I liked the one where the guy saw his wife in the brothel!!

my4kids said...

Seriously must have been a full moon....weird.

kitten said...

Yep! What others said. LOL! I love silly string also. When my oldest was into Spider Man, they had come out with this thing were you shoot silly string out of your glove. I thought it was so neat that I went in his room and silly stringed it. I thought it really needed the spider man look. My husband wasn't really happy about it, but he got over it.
Yeah. I saw yall had tornadoes. Was really schocked. Glad it was far from you.
Hope you have a wonderful week end!

PAT said...

Another great post, Pamela! Thanks so much for this morning's chuckle!

Pat

coloursofdawn said...

Those are so funny. I LOLed at the one about the knives. He is lucky the blade was up and not down at an angle. Great post.

MarmiteToasty said...

It surely is a strange world out there lol.... I think I will stay indoors today, just to be on the safe side lol

x

Shelby said...

very funny!! Odd, but funny!

Aoj & The Lurchers said...

There are some bizarre people out there!

Aoj & The Lurchers said...

Now can you tell I'm going round in circles....I've commented twice on this post!

Mimi Lenox said...

The world is soooo weird. Thanks for sharing. Here's another weird headline.

You've been royally tagged by the Queen of Memes.
Long live the dungeon. No Autographs, Please - The Band Meme

Robocop said...

Proof that some people should not breed.**LOL**

Gattina said...

Now the only headline missing is "Call boy service send her husband" !
Lol !

Kila said...

Pamela, my condolences on the Seahawks loss today. I was thinking of you and wishing we could have watched the game together!

At least you lost to a friend ;)

Kathleen Marie said...

Oh my gosh! I am still laughing. People do the sillest things! I wonder just what was that man doing in the brothel to find his wife there? Ha! They deserve each other.

You have a fabulous week! Hugs!

Laura McIntyre said...

LOL There all great

coloursofdawn said...

I know I already commented, but I thought of this post a couple days ago when I heard about the guy who put the loaded gun in his pants during a robbery. The gun went off, and he is now missing a part of his anatomy. Big price to pay for a couple hundred bucks he didn't get anyway.