Todays Headlines

Mouse Absconds with Maine Man's Dentures
"We moved the bed, moved the dressers and the night stand and tore the closet apart," he said. "I said, 'I knew that little stinker stole my teeth' I just knew it."

It was the little fellow's smile that clued him.

Panda Poop To Do Double Duty in China
There's a new Chinese saying: When life hands you panda poop, make paper. Researchers at a giant panda reserve in southern China are looking for paper mills to process their surplus of fiber-rich panda excrement into high quality paper.
"People won't find it gross at all," Liao said. "They probably won't even be able to tell it's from panda poop.

After some of the stuff I've read, this is redundant. (I meant that as, I read alot of "crap".... so if you print it on this new paper it is "crap on crap".... )

Crocodile Smuggler Exposed
A woman with three crocodiles strapped to her waist was stopped at the Gaza-Egypt border crossing after guards noticed that she looked "strangely fat," officials said Monday.

The policewoman screamed and ran out of the room, and then women began screaming and panicking when they heard," Telleria said. But when the hysteria died down, she said, "everybody was admiring a woman who is able to tie crocodiles to her body."

Everyone's wearing crocs now. Am I the only female without a pair?


Dead Beat Parents Pictured on Pizza Boxes
Butler County Child Enforcement Agency has ordered up the idea of putting pictures of parents that have failed to pay child support on pizza boxes. Cynthia Brown came up with the idea while ordering pizza from a local pizzeria.
"It suddenly dawned on me that most people running from the law don't eat out, they order pizza," said Brown.


Say Cheese~


Finish MP seeks vote in Klingon
HELSINKI (Reuters) - A Finnish member of parliament is aiming for re-election by campaigning with a translation of his Web site into Klingon, used in the TV series Star Trek.
Non-warriors can also access the site, www.kasvi.org, in English, Swedish and Finnish.

Hab SoSlI' Quch! Translation to English: Your Mother Has a Smooth Forehead (Note: this is a powerful insult; don't say it to friends.)


Fingertip Found at Bus Stop
A fingertip found at a bus stop by schoolchildren, touching off a police investigation, was claimed Friday by a man who injured his hand in a snowblower accident. "He claimed it was his, but he didn't want to claim it, if you know what I mean," Schueler told the Butler Eagle.

At that late date, I guess it was pointless.