Todays Headlines

Naked Intruder Found Asleep on Couch
"A Laguna Niguel man allegedly broke into a woman's home and fell asleep on her couch naked, according to police. The woman called authorities early Saturday morning after waking up to find Michael Bonnie, 36, on her couch covered by a blanket, Costa Mesa Police Sgt. Matt Grimmold said. The two did not appear to know each other, Grimmold said.

Police arrested Bonnie on suspicion of residential burglary and indecent exposure. He is being held on $250,000 bail."


What was he doing? Stealing a few winks?

Break A Leg, Say Gamblers, as Mills enters Dance Contest

Online gaming site bodog.com — established by Canadian-born billionaire Calvin Ayre — has opened betting on several Dancing With the Stars topics, including whether Mills's prosthetic leg will fall off during a dance routine, alongside bets about reality hits American Idol and Survivor.

Site operators specified that "Heather Mills' leg must fall off, not be purposely taken off, during a dance routine."

This is one of my favorite shows, so I'll give you guys a .. uh... Leg up... if it happens.


Stallone Charged With Importing Steroids Down Under

"According to Australian authorities, the 60-year-old action star, who did not appear in court, was caught at Sydney Airport with several vials of a steroid known as hGH (human growth hormone), during a random baggage check. Customs officials claim they found a total of 48 vials of the steroid after they raided Stallone's Sydney hotel room, limousine and private jet."

I hate to be the one to break the news to Sylvester, but I saw him in Lords of Flatbush. He's never going to get any taller.

Earthquakes shakes Northeast Ohio

"CLEVELAND -- A representative from the Golden Colorado Seismic Center confirms there was some type of a small earthquake."

Cleveland rocks.

A Refridgerator that will Toss you A Can of Beer

"It took the 22-year-old Cornwell about 150 hours and $400 in parts to modify a mini-fridge common to many college dorm rooms into the beer-tossing contraption, which can launch 10 cans of beer from its magazine before needing a reload."

During an earthquake my aunt's chest freezer tossed out all the frozen orange juice. (And her toilet walked down the hall.)

Astronaut has Wasabi spill in Space

"The spicy greenish condiment was squirted out of a tube while astronaut Sunita Williams was trying to make a pretend sushi meal with bag-packaged salmon. The three space station crewmembers are given a certain number of bonus packs of their favorite foods to help endure their months in space where most meals are the equivalent of military MREs."

Whats up with Wasabi?

Bobcat Hijacks Workers Golfcart

"Ask Missouri water plant worker Mitch Walter. He was at work, inspecting treatment plant property in a golf cart when a rabbit leaped onto the passenger seat. A 25-pound bobcat was in hot pursuit. The rabbit leaped to freedom, leaving Walter riding along with the bobcat."

Hijacked by a cat. No cat owner can be suprised by that. First, the ransom is fancy feast, then that expensive stuff in the resealing packets.

and last

Raccoon Back on the Menu at fundraiser

"HIBERNIA, Ind. (AP) After a four-year absence, raccoon is back on the menu for the Hibernia Community Building's annual fundraiser. LaVeran Lorenz, 86, has agreed to resume cooking duties for the March 24 event - with a little help with the cleaning. "It's not like cleaning a chicken, I'll tell you that," said Dina Woods, one of Lorenz's neighbors who agreed to learn how to clean raccoons for cooking."

Now here's the recipe I should have posted for Fun Monday.