Todays Headlines

Naked Intruder Found Asleep on Couch
"A Laguna Niguel man allegedly broke into a woman's home and fell asleep on her couch naked, according to police. The woman called authorities early Saturday morning after waking up to find Michael Bonnie, 36, on her couch covered by a blanket, Costa Mesa Police Sgt. Matt Grimmold said. The two did not appear to know each other, Grimmold said.

Police arrested Bonnie on suspicion of residential burglary and indecent exposure. He is being held on $250,000 bail."

What was he doing? Stealing a few winks?

Break A Leg, Say Gamblers, as Mills enters Dance Contest

Online gaming site — established by Canadian-born billionaire Calvin Ayre — has opened betting on several Dancing With the Stars topics, including whether Mills's prosthetic leg will fall off during a dance routine, alongside bets about reality hits American Idol and Survivor.

Site operators specified that "Heather Mills' leg must fall off, not be purposely taken off, during a dance routine."

This is one of my favorite shows, so I'll give you guys a .. uh... Leg up... if it happens.

Stallone Charged With Importing Steroids Down Under

"According to Australian authorities, the 60-year-old action star, who did not appear in court, was caught at Sydney Airport with several vials of a steroid known as hGH (human growth hormone), during a random baggage check. Customs officials claim they found a total of 48 vials of the steroid after they raided Stallone's Sydney hotel room, limousine and private jet."

I hate to be the one to break the news to Sylvester, but I saw him in Lords of Flatbush. He's never going to get any taller.

Earthquakes shakes Northeast Ohio

"CLEVELAND -- A representative from the Golden Colorado Seismic Center confirms there was some type of a small earthquake."

Cleveland rocks.

A Refridgerator that will Toss you A Can of Bee

"It took the 22-year-old Cornwell about 150 hours and $400 in parts to modify a mini-fridge common to many college dorm rooms into the beer-tossing contraption, which can launch 10 cans of beer from its magazine before needing a reload."

During an earthquake my aunt's chest freezer tossed out all the frozen orange juice. (And her toilet walked down the hall.)

Astronaut has Wasabi spill in Space

"The spicy greenish condiment was squirted out of a tube while astronaut Sunita Williams was trying to make a pretend sushi meal with bag-packaged salmon. The three space station crewmembers are given a certain number of bonus packs of their favorite foods to help endure their months in space where most meals are the equivalent of military MREs."

Whats up with Wasabi?

Bobcat Hijacks Workers Golfcart

"Ask Missouri water plant worker Mitch Walter. He was at work, inspecting treatment plant property in a golf cart when a rabbit leaped onto the passenger seat. A 25-pound bobcat was in hot pursuit. The rabbit leaped to freedom, leaving Walter riding along with the bobcat."

Hijacked by a cat. No cat owner can be suprised by that. First, the ransom is fancy feast, then that expensive stuff in the resealing packets.

and last

Raccoon Back on the Menu at fundraiser

"HIBERNIA, Ind. (AP) After a four-year absence, raccoon is back on the menu for the Hibernia Community Building's annual fundraiser. LaVeran Lorenz, 86, has agreed to resume cooking duties for the March 24 event - with a little help with the cleaning. "It's not like cleaning a chicken, I'll tell you that," said Dina Woods, one of Lorenz's neighbors who agreed to learn how to clean raccoons for cooking."

Now here's the recipe I should have posted for Fun Monday.


Robin said…
Oooooohhhhhh, my, Pamelamela, GLAD I made an early morning start with ya...grinnin' from ear to ear, but thankfully, no coffee spewed.

It's apparent from the astronaut story that Australians would be very comfortable in space (thanks to WT for sharing the finer side of tubular Aussie dining ;) ).

But cleaning raccoons...HUH? But they're so stinkin' cute! And I do mean stinking, and I do mean cute. Couldn't eat one for both reasons.

Ciao (I mean "chow") ;).
Jeanette said…
Hi Pamela ' Ihope to catch up with my blogging soon.
well slyvester is in our news tonight.he is facing charges to be heard in April with a fine off $22000.00 if found guilty.
BarnGoddess said…
ewwww, Ive hunted many coons and nothing appealing about them except their hides-ack!
Bonnie B said…
Those were so funny-- where did you find the stories?

But I don't think I could eat a racoon-- event though they are rotten, evil trash-invading little monsters.
Heather said…
What a fun post! This should be your new specialty.
Okay, I love sushi, but pretend sushi? Oy vey. I don't think I could stomach that.
Vicki said…
Cleveland Rocks!

Your a Hoot!!
Heather said…
Okay, this is my second attempt at leaving a comment. It it appears twice, it's because blogger is messin' with me.

Have you ever considered standup? Or writing for one of those late night talk shows? Your punchlines are a hoot!
Susie said…
I loved these stories, but even more your take on them!!
Dancing with the Stars in one of my favorites! I'll now be thinking of you whenever Heather performs!!
kailani said…
That website on Dancing with the Stars is hilarious. I can't believe they're betting on Mill's leg, though!

Bachi! (bad luck)
Karmyn said…
You could mix these stories up -

Put a little Wasabi on the coon.

Be careful or that thrown beer might break your leg.

Are we sure the bobcat didn't jump onto the golfcart cuz the guy was taking a nap?
Melissa said…
I think Marnie should get partial credit for that thrown beer story, what with her mad skillz surrounding projectile diet dr. pepper cans.
wolfbaby said…
ROLF thank you I needed that;)
C said…
Poor Stallone, I guess he wanted company. He did not want to be the only one with an ever shrinking package. And as for those astronauts, at least they are into food and not obessed with each other. They should not become obsessed with food or else the ship won't get off the ground long enough for them to start drama in space.
Claudia said…
ok...weird...I was just saving up odd news bits for the same thing as you just did...only that now I can't do it! You beat me to it!! (your comments are much more witty though..)
Gattina said…
I like the story with the naked burglar, lol ! I would have liked to see the woman's face in the morning !
Whippersnapper said…
Heh heh, it's late, but now I'm up for the night 'cause I was giggling so much. (Care to do some babysitting for me tomorrow? Mama's gonna need some shut-eye!)
Peter said…
A good mix of news stories here Pamela, I'll be back once I'm home to read the family posts.
min said…
I love sneaking over here in the middle of the night--wrapped in a knitted throw and sipping a cup of tea--and catching up on the stories. Tonight, I'll go to bed chuckling!
DesLily said…
taking a wild guess here that Stallone thinks that stuff will keep him young..boy have i got news for him lol ! (btw his brother Frank, who looks like him is much cuter lol)

I'm not a heather mills fan here, so leg or not I hope she's voted off early on. I'm hoping Apolo Ono turns out to ge a good dancer.
Mert said…
Coon, huh? The redneck in me wants to know if that come with a side of fries or slaw. LOL!:D

I mean really, what does one serve with raccoon?
Matt said…
I like the non-specificity of the Cleveland government. Some type of earthquake or something....
Susan in va said…
ROFL!!!!! I like the first one best. It made me think of Goldilocks - maybe this poor guy just had too much porridge....or too much Schnapps ;)
Jeanette said…
Hi Pamela
had a good chuckle at the 1st one,
poor fellow lost his way home and needed a
judypatooote said…
I don't get the paper, and I don't look for news on the internet, for I find it very depressing, but maybe I should start reading news, for this was quite funny.....the media does have a way with words... and so do you......LOL
James Cooper said…
It's a strange world when the headlines start reading like those that used to be found on the Odd News pages. Too bad those kinds of headlines aren't the only things worth front page attention.

Maybe some day...
Anonymous said…
send that naked intruder on over

Popular posts from this blog

Sing in Spring

An Old Cold Spot

Earth Friendly