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Saturday, October 06, 2007

Dime Store Glasses, Final Chapter

My brother Mike is a physical therapist. An excellent physical therapist. His job requires traveling to rehabilitation centers and to people’s homes to treat patients.

He can see to do his work without glasses. However, the monstrous amount of paperwork that any medical care involves calls for those reading glasses. Just like me, and his wife Tami, the eyewear Queen, he bought “Dime Store Glasses.”

One day he purchased a pair that was not only perfect for reading the fine print, but also fit his head and flattered his face. They came with a price tag about four times higher than the previous ones, but still not as expensive as prescription glasses. He was extremely happy with this discovery and kept them with him at all times.

Unfortunately, one evening he arrived home to the realization that his favorite eyewear had not arrived home with him.

In his mind, he retraced his route, going over his hourly activity in an attempt to pinpoint the last memory of having them.

His final patient of the day was an elderly stroke patient. The old gentlemen had been difficult and uncooperative. He remembered writing his patient assessment, then returning to the patient’s bedside to give an encouraging word before he said goodbye.

“I think I left my glasses on Mr. Smith’s nightstand,” Mike told his wife why he was leaving earlier than usual for work the next morning. It was only a few minutes out of his way to drive by and collect them.

Mike arrived at the convalescent home, greeted the staff, and walked down the hall to Mr. Smith’s room.

Mr. Smith lay sound asleep upon his bed. There, prominently displayed upon his hawkish nose, sat Mike’s glasses.

Tiptoeing quietly to the fellow’s bedside he hoped to put a finger under the frame and lift them without detection.

Mr. Smith did not stir. In fact, Smith seemed eerily quiet. Mike leaned close and realized that Smiths chest was still. He grabbed the man’s lifeless cold wrist and checked hopefully for a non-existent pulse. Retreating from the room, he made his way to the charge nurse to report the passing of his patient.

Then, he remembered why he was there.


Mike walked back into Mr. Smiths room and over to the body. He stood there for a moment, unsure of what to do.


Finally, he grabbed the specs, folded them and placed them in his pocket, and returned to the busy schedule of his day.


We laugh about the absurdity of it now.

Nevertheless, I wonder at the telling; how would I respond if I found a dead man wearing my glasses.


What would YOU do?

18 comments:

Myanderings said...

I would like to think that I would have the presence of mind to take my glasses, but I know me better than that. I would just get the heck out of there and buy me some new ones!

Amanda said...

I love this story....
I don't think I could wear them again.
See you tomorrow mom!

Beccy said...

I would have got the hell out of there as well.

Melissa said...

Ooh. I don't know if I could have lifted the glasses. Worn them after they had been removed, maybe. That's a funny story!

her indoors said...

nope not me i would have left them on him, mind you he wouldn't need them would he, but no couldn't ahve worn them after that, very funny

Susie said...

Great story!
My husband would have probably done just what Mike did. He got attached to certain dime store pairs as well!
If it were me, I couldn't have seen enough to even find the glasses unless I was already wearing glasses!
xo

PEA said...

Lol loved this story! Gosh, I really don't know what I would do in such a situation...probably would just leave them where they were because I'd be too chicken to take them off a dead body!! lol xox

rose said...

Pam I would probably have taken the glasses. What's to be afraid of. Everybody has to die sometime. That Fellow certainly didnot need them. Why buy another pair if ya don't have to. Bravo for your husband. Rose

rose said...

Pam Whoops I meant to say your brother. He did the right thing. Bravo for Mike. Alas I don't know how to edit these things once they're said. Rose

Willowtree said...

I would have taken them, I've touched both my parents after they expired and it's no big deal.

This sounds like the makings of a good movie. I'd cast Bruce Willis and Haley Joel Osment and call it "Dead people don't see me, (glasses or not)"

BarnGoddess said...

what a weird story!

I am w/ Amanda.....Im not sure Id wear them again either.

of course, they were his favorite and more expensive so I can see his point

Pamela said...

Myanderings: it was mind over matter, I guess.
Amanda. Yeah Mike tells it better
Her indoors: It's a strange sensation to see someone else wearing your lost item - but even stranger if that person is deceased
Susie; Common Sense - or is that common $.00 (:
I always think about how it will effect my non existent budget

Pea. That was my first thought when he told me this story a few years ago. Fortunately I've had time to review the thought process and I would take them.

Rose: You are to down to earth to be squeamish about it. I know you would probably even cover the guy with a sheet...



willowtree
yes. I have, too. I believe our process of saying goodbye to loved ones is to sanitary now. Years ago the family washed and prepared the decased. Now some stranger does it.
When my nephew died two years ago of a rare form of cancer, my sisn-law and her sister prepared his body. Some of these things are being proven to be a healthy part of grieving.

M@ said...

He did the right (and funny) thing.

theotherbear said...

I'd feel more comfortable taking them off the dead guy than if he'd been alive. No awkward conversation like "Er... excuse me, I think those glasses might be mine..." etc.

Devon said...

I would taken the glasses and thanked the patient for having such a good sense of humor. I'm sure he would have heard on 'the other side'!

my4kids said...

I don't know but for some reason I don't think I could wear them again....

min said...

Take them back to the drugstore.
Get my money back.
Get a different pair.
Let someone else buy the dead man glasses.

susan said...

LOL What a great story! Of course he had to take those glasses, the dead guy didn't need them.